The Man Who Was Thursday – A Nightmare

Remember that kids. A nightmare. It is important.

So G.K. Chesterton was a big guy who threw his weight around and liked to use rhetoric to argue with people, on all points concerning mankind and society, until he died? A man after my own heart. Truly. I picked this book up because I had found it and subsequently purchased a copy after I learned it makes its way into Neil Gaiman’s top 10 books. That he has read. In his life! That has some notoriety to it. Not that I would read all books on his list, he described one as a “slow version of Dickens’ Bleak House” and I nearly fell over with exhaustion just imagining it.

And some background on Gilbert Keith: He was a massive man, joked about it, wrote a lot about politics and religious apologetics, also wrote poetry, mystery, fantasy and spent the rest of his time arguing philosophies with George Bernard Shaw. Shaw was a modernist, and Chesterton an orthodox Catholic. But they had very spirited bouts and always remained great friends. Wish we could do that more now days. I mean I can, I don’t care who believes what, just as long as we all are good humoured about it and the views of others.

Anyway he wrote The Man Who Was Thursday as a detective novel where people are recruited into an anti-anarchist wing of Scotland Yard’s detective agency and must use their wit to infiltrate the ring of anarchists known to be amongst commoners in London, but operating out of the London Underground. The plot follows Gabriel Syme, who outwits a man named Gregory, who is an anarchist trying to prove to Syme that they are a real force to be reckoned with. Syme must protect his own identity, however, and accomplishes this by suggesting Gregory isn’t a good enough anarchist at a secret meeting Gregory drags him to where they are voting on a new leader of their local chapter, which happens to be a position in the council of 7 and is code-named Thursday. He uses leverage to speak to the council and gives such a great speech, condemning Gregory, that he wins the vote. Syme is going to be Mr. Thursday!

 

Once at these meetings of the 7, Syme learns something awful, however. That they no longer believe in keeping anarchy a secret, and instead believe the best way to appear harmless if for the heads to appear right out in the open. Has to make the detective nervous. What’s worse? (SPOILER ALERT!) Syme learns quickly that five of the seven member are also secret detectives like him, policemen from Scotland Yard sent to infiltrate the Council.

Even more mindblowing is that they learn all this as they come together, and figure out that a real anarchist revolution is going on without them, whilst they are busy hunting each other down in the woods trying to point out members that are actual anarchists. Turns out none of them are! And the anarchists move on with an insane plan, leaving them all hopeless and desperate.

In the end, Sunday is revealed as Gregory, only masked, and tells them all that his people are the ones who have suffered, hence the revolt. But good Syme responds with a “you don’t know what I just went through, what I experienced, what I suffered” speech and caps it off with a quote from Jesus: “can ye drink of the cup that I drink of?” Bravo G.K. Nightmare over. Book end.

I thought it was a nice, short and simple story with great post-Victorian British humour and rhetoric. I don’t know when I aged 120 years and started enjoying that stuff, my guess is sometime after my first go at Dickens’ Bleak House, but I really do like that stuff. If it’s not for you, it’s not for you. Otherwise, it is a fairly entertaining nightmare.

The 19th Wife - David Ebershoff

Well election time is upon us, or just behind us, depending on when this gets posted, and I think it is interesting one of our candidates is a Mormon. Or funny. Or scary, maybe. Because 19^th Wife is packed with them. Like sardines in a f***ing tin. Wives everywhere. Prophets prophesying, angry mobs, chat rooms, fabulously gay ex-Mormons (and by ex I mean Ex-communicated) and of course, what book club book is complete without white people scalping each other and making it look like the Indians did it?

Naturally, I went into this knowing a fair amount about the LDS faith, having sat through many a talk with their door to door salesmen and even reading a bit of their book, which is less of an instructions manual or “how-to” on getting into heaven and is more of another “New Testament” sort of story involving entirely new characters I have never really heard of but are all loosely based on, if you can believe it, characters from the Old Testament.

It all seems very confusing but if it’s a faith you are into, then try not to get too bogged down by the details and focus on the main point: Jesus had a sweet sequel and did really well in coming to North America to spread the word because he is actually a white guy, (and Native Americans love white guys, right?) so naturally we should all fit in quite well in his system, being white Americans (not that everyone who reads this blog is a Caucasian/White/North American, but most Mormons are, so there you have it).

Anyway, the progenitor of all this madness was a very imaginative, captivating and handsome white American who just wanted people to call him Prophet. He also had a sexual appetite that defied his role as a contemporary Christian so he got around that by saying Bog instructed him to take many wives, a loophole of sorts to avoid the oh-so-demeaning title of adulterer, which was barely a step down from being considered a witch.

The 19^th Wife chronicles this man and his successor, Brigham Young, an even hungrier breeder, from the point of view of Brigham’s last wife, illegitimate or legitimate (it’s up courts and Jesus to decide these details). Sure, she brings an end to the fad that was plural marriage, but at a great cost and brings about a mysterious end to her own life.

It’s also the story of a modern family, one that is based on the goings on in Colorado City, Arizona. Showing some state pride, I have to say I was sad to read the fictional town belonging to this story was actually set in Utah. How dare the author rob us of one of our finer points in this great state, that of personal and religious freedom! Nevertheless, the modern story works out to be a similarly crazed Prophet obsessed with a massively high girl-to-guy ratio in each married man’s house. The details are all a bit creepy and get the reader to think about what is morally acceptable and where we draw the lines between practicing religion in a free state/country vs. the damages and sacrifices people in these faiths must make. I am big into moral theory, it was a favourite subject of mine in college (amongst many), so I had some key points I liked about this book:

•                 Free will, for example. Everyone is entitled to it by virtue of their consciousness. Freedom of religion is not only guaranteed in this country, but is an important subject under our ability to exercise free will as free thinking humans. It is not the government’s job, President Grant in Brigham Young’s case or the Utah/Arizona government on a smaller scale, to draw lines and enforce laws that limit our ability to practice religion in this country. Unless it happens to –
•                 Take advantage of members of a religion. There are always things people do that we find goofy, but some things actually have negative consequences and hurt the fabric of society. This book really stresses what Ann Eliza Young, Brigham’s 19^th, tried to get across to us in her quest to break the bonds of women in a polygamist society. It is a double edged sword, religious freedom. “I can do whatever Jesus or his dad Bog instructs me to do as I am a prophet, his mouthpiece to the world, without fear of Government intervention” is true so long as no one gets hurt. But what if everyone is quite miserable? What if followers are mostly going along with it out of fear? Either out of fear of un-provable consequences for blasphemers that includes death or constant intimidation and fear of not reaching heaven? That’s where one more thing should come into play –
•                 Common sense. People need to use it. Following a pioneer into a fresh, virgin new world because he is a great man is really a good thing, and is how a massive part of the American West was settled. But entering into these marriages is not quite forced, merely creepily coerced through the use of a sneaky secret service and lots of black mail, if what we read from Ann Eliza’s perspective is to be believed. If there isn’t any pushback even though everyone finds it either morally repulsive or completely unnecessary, you get a society that is almost being led by a dictator and they are fear mongered or intimidated into this until, ultimately, we have –
•                 Revolution. Not in a grand sense of the word really, but one woman escaping the confines of polygamy, which is almost like being imprisoned, except the sex is legitimate because you’re actually married to the guy, not his cell mate. But more in the sense of someone escaping and challenging the views of the prophet until popular demand suggests they change their ways.

All in all I’m actually sort of glad it worked out the way it did. As in real life, not just the book. Brigham Young was an excellent pioneer, one of the better heroes we’ve ever venerated in this great nation, and he did what he had to do to get everyone settled in Salt Lake City where the West really boomed. And in a pretty civilized manner, polygamy or not. Without polygamy, would they have been able to populate and grow so rapidly and thrive the way they did? Even if all it provided was an outlet for Brigham so that he could focus more of his attention on other things, like sending out missionaries and bringing in immigrants from England, Sweden, Germany etc, it served his purpose and hence, served the West well. Who knows if he would have been as effective without that release, without a new bang-maid every 2 years? It’s not for us to say.

Also, this beer is very damn good if you can find it!

But I will say that morally, I find it compelling. Polyamoury really doesn’t need to be thought of as morally repugnant as it is viewed in this book, or indeed as it is viewed by this nation in general. It is perfectly fine. If a thriving civilization wants to practice polyamoury, or polygamy or whatever, and they are all perfectly happy, then that’s fine. What I have a problem with is how it was administered, and how it was controlled. Saying it is done in the name of God is never a reason to do anything to anyone else, in my opinion. It should never affect anyone negatively, what you do for your religious deity, because that’s not how I feel religion, or my God, operates.

The other problem I have with how it is administered is men can take many wives, but women must remain true to that single husband. Plural marriage or celestial marriage, as Joseph and Brigham defined it, was sort of a one-way street for them. It ensured they always had fresh p***y, but the women got screwed! And not in a good way! Ann Eliza was a beautiful young woman, and had to put up with a fatter, old and bearded Brigham. No thanks. If polyamoury is your practice, why can’t she take all the men she wants? The book doesn’t really address this, instead it just blasts the Mormon and the Firsts, the breakaway of the Mormon church who were polygamy exteremists views of polygamy. And I’m okay with tearing that idea up because, as I just said, how they did it was wrong. Morally. End of story. Pretty good book though.